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Writer's pictureChelle Hartzer

Ding Dong the Witch is Dead (AKA: Avon calling)

I had a door to door salesman come by the other day. (People still do this?!?!) Normally, I don’t answer the doorbell but I was expecting my neighbor to come over so I made the mistake of opening the door thinking it was them. Ugh.


I was already annoyed because I’m in the middle of writing my next PCT article and this guy has the audacity to ring my doorbell to try to sell me something I didn’t ask for. But I had already opened the door so I managed to suppress my first instinct to say “WTF do you want?” and went with, “Can I help you?”. I’m a Yankee transplanted into the South so I’m working on my southern hospitality. It’s a work in progress.



This guy, let’s call him Dick for simplicity's sake. Dick starts in on do you know Company X, we do pest control. Then he asked me who does my pest control. I respond that I do since I am a licensed operator in the state of Georgia. At this point, he should have just said great, thanks, and walked away since I am obviously a professional if I’m licensed. He does not walk away. As far as I’m concerned, southern hospitality no longer applies.


He keeps talking: “Well let me tell you what we can do for you, we will spray your whole lawn and we will spray all the way up to your eaves to get rid of all your pest, can you do that?” I skipped right over the “spray the whole lawn” and the almost snarky “can you do that?”. (I can, in fact, do that.) I went straight for the “eaves” comment. Admittedly, my second floor is pretty high and the back side of my house is essentially three floors up. I asked him why would I ever want to do that? Dick’s response: spiders and wasps.

I didn’t even look up and asked if he saw any wasps. Dick looked up and said no, but there are spider webs so there must be spiders. Okay, he does have a point. However, the spiders eat the “bad bugs” (mosquitoes, cockroaches, etc.) so why would I want to get rid of them? Dick’s response: “well, in my opinion, the only good bug is a dead bug.” Bless his heart, he’s got the intelligence of an overheated rock.


I recently had a similar conversation about spraying the lawn with one of the companies I work for. First of all, there is very little labeled for that kind of broadcast application. Second, why would you want to? What pests are hanging out in a well-manicured lawn that will impact a structure? It’s a much better idea to do targeted treatments around the structure for pests that will invade and save time and energy. You can spend that time doing a better inspection so you don’t sound like an idiot saying there are spiders and wasps when there aren’t. Bless his heart, he must have inhaled a lot of car fumes.


At this point, I say thanks very much and good luck and close the door. I really would have talked with Dick as long as he was willing to stay there so he couldn’t get to my next few neighbors but it was hot and I didn’t want to stand out there. He was slower than molasses in January and I was wicked annoyed.


The moral of this story is not that Dick is an idiot. Dick and his team need expert training in pest control. Do they know what’s going on? Dick hadn’t even looked at my house, he just started in on his spiel on what his company was going to do. If he had actually walked around and looked at stuff, he should have also given me the recommendation that some of my shrubs were overgrown and needed to be trimmed back from one side of my house. Had I signed up for his service, I would have been pretty unhappy since it wouldn’t have taken care of the pest problems that were happening.


Do they know what the treatments are? I would have liked to ask Dick what they were going to spray and demand a copy of the label and SDS. If you have a pest control company claiming that they will “spray” for your pests, the question should be why? There are very effective baits, granular products, and treatments that can be applied in targeted, small areas.


Do they know IPM? Pest control isn’t about “spraying”. Let me rephrase that: responsible and effective pest control isn’t about just “spraying”. A good plan will include recommendations on sanitation, exclusion, monitoring, and physical controls. Your pest control provider should be able to look at the whole site and factor in all the conducive conditions contributing to pest issues. Despite Dick’s claim of “we will spray and it will take care of all your pests”, there is no magic wand.


Besides losing ten minutes of my life to talking with Dick, I actually don’t feel any animosity towards him. I feel bad for my neighbors who will be sucked into his attempt at a slick pitch and think it’s a good idea. Only to find out later that they still have pest problems and they are wasting money.


Are you wasting money on your pest program? Are you getting the results you want or do you have a “Dick” that is “spraying” with less than beneficial results? Contact us here if you want an independent review.




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